The joys of teaching.
Keeping the atmosphere light hearted and fun, whilst constantly coming up with unique and relatable coaching points for my newbie pole students, is one of my favourite challenges of being a pole dancing instructor.
When working with newbies who have zero body awareness, it’s my job to stop a pole minjury from occurring. I must protect my student’s most sacred and sensitive of places. So, I have to act quick to correct errors and highlight the seriousness of their potential pole fails. Without denting their self confidence of course.
Here are just a few quality coaching points that I have often found myself shouting in class. These make total sense in the classroom, but would probably be horrifyingly mis-understood by the general population!
“It will hurt a lot less if you just take it in the ass”
This one is a point I use to light heartedly and simply explain the weight distribution in a cross ankle release. It reduces the severity of grip pain sensations on their sensitive virgin thigh skin.
“Now watch what I’m doing because if you’re not paying attention, I promise you’ll give yourself a minjury”
Now if I’d have only said ‘Injury’ … I doubt they’d listen. But because of that little re-arrangement of syllables I did there – they bloody well pay attention!
We just went from ‘oh you might suffer a little oopsie’ to ‘This one’s gonna clang you right in the minge if you’re not careful!’.
“Remember to actually USE your muscles here, don’t just rely on fate. That’ll just give you the dreaded ‘Black Flap’ – after you body slam into the pole uncontrollably.”
Alright, I’m pretty grateful that I’ve never actually given myself ‘The Dreaded Black Flap’ …. and I’m not even sure if I’ve ever heard of anyone that did – but it’s funny all the same. AND SERIOUS. *sniggers*
“If you swerve off to one side a bit before you roll your hips down, it will feel a lot less like a ‘Flaps of Fire’ move.”
This advice is given to students attempting a handstand to split dismount.
There is nothing in the world that prepares you for the burning pain when you roll your hips forward, legs akimbo, with your delicates ‘not so gently’ grazing the pole! You’re there thinking you’re about to achieve greatness – but then catch a flap mid-drag … and still have to see the roll through to the end.
“Careful now … You’re heading for a total Clitastrophe!”
Situation averted immediately.
Of course, every school has their own style and atmosphere, so such colourful language won’t be to every instructor’s taste. Although my humor might not be for everybody, if you feel that some of these lines can help your students to learn their new pole moves free from any unfortunate accidents, feel free to use them.
What little nuggets of advice have you heard in your pole studio, that just wouldn’t make sense anywhere else? Let us know in the comments below.
Candy & Chrome, Chester
After first taking up pole dancing for fun way back in 2005, Amy quickly became addicted to pole. After two years of learning, she began to teach pole initially just to friends and family for fun. Candy & Chrome was born in 2007 and has been going from strength to strength ever since.
As a bit of a pole blogger herself, Amy has learned from some of the best pole artists in the world, and would share her experiences online via blogs and interviews with the likes of Alethea Austin, Felix Cane, and Pantera Blacksmith – among other legends. She was one of the original members of the PDC, and was also the editor of one of the world’s first pole dancing magazines.
Amy now runs Candy & Chrome, and teaches her classes with a strong emphasis on FUN. “I don’t do this to perform or compete” she says, “I just love pole, I do it for me! I love to share it and have fun with others too.”