Ask Peach: Making Money From Feminism, Competition Scores and More…

Here is our very first Ask Peach segment with official user submitted questions. Some of these questions have been edited for brevity. If you would like to submit your own questions please do so HERE.

How do you feel about people making money of what seems to be ‘women’s oppression’? Services that revolve around charging women for a product designed to help them overcome the negative impacts of oppression. Without the oppression there would not be a product to sell, so these individuals are profiting from the patriarchy. Is that OK? 

This is a really interesting question, thank you. In the longer letter you did mention that you didn’t think this applied to things such as my confidence courses, but really, you could say I am technically ‘profiting’ from patriarchal structures by offering those classes, because many people struggle with their self-esteem because of these structures.

Yes, some of the feminists offering products and services within our industries will be making money off the back of oppressive systems, but in my opinion, as long as you are not directly contributing to them then you’re golden. If you are trying to undo negative stereotypes, low body confidence, low self-belief and so on, and someone is happy to buy what you offer and feels it is worth their time and money, then I’m not here to criticise your product.

The one argument I would say against it would be the idea of capitalism and exploitation. Charging very large sums of money for these products or services lessens their ‘accessibility’ and may mean they are only accessible to those within a privileged position. But, this is an issue across the whole industry, and people do still need to make a living, so I never blame one for charging a high price if there are people willing to pay. Most people I have seen who sell products or services that may fit into this ‘category’ offer affordable options alongside their more expensive options, so there’s always some point of access regardless of income.

And really, the customer can vote with their cash, if someone’s products and services aren’t worth the price charged, then the customer can opt out of buying. Review and feedback systems should also be encouraged so that those in business can ensure that what they are offering is worthwhile also, but I do know lots of people struggle to take feedback.

Personally, I try and keep all of my confidence workshops affordable, because I know some of the people who will need it the most won’t have excessive amounts of spending money. Confidence workshops may be double or triple what I choose to charge in other industries, but, this is my choice to ensure that everyone can access my material. This doesn’t necessarily mean I won’t release a service or product in the future that is more expensive, but those charges will always reflect the amount of time, effort and personal investment that goes into producing these and offering them.😚😚😚

I have had some experience competing and found that I can often struggle to place because one judge will give me half the marks of the others…. Why does this happen? Should judging criteria be more structured?

Well, there’s two different points here…

Firstly, judging is a difficult job and everyone has their own judging style. Odds are, if someone has given you half the marks of another judge, then the likelihood is that they are a ‘low scorer’. This means that every competitor more than likely had one judge mark them much lower than another, which evens out the scores across the board. So, I personally wouldn’t worry about one judge scoring you lower than another.

Secondly, what can you do? Well, nothing really. The judging has happened, the competition is over, and there’s nothing you or the competition organiser can do with the scores now.

If you didn’t place, it was probably for a reason. Maybe your flow wasn’t as smooth, your lines weren’t as clean, or your tricks weren’t as well executed as the winners. You need to be really honest with yourself, and view your performance without the constraints of your ego. Don’t feel bad if you weren’t as ‘technically good’ as those who placed, just take it as an opportunity to recognise what you need to work on. Even getting on stage is an amazing achievement, the rest of it is just bonus.

At the end of the day, winning isn’t everything. As soon as you remove that strong desire to place, then competing becomes a lot more enjoyable, believe me! So, my biggest suggestion would be to work on your own self-confidence, look at why you want to compete, and to be honest with yourself about what you need to improve. 😍😍😍

Hey peach! I’m wondering how you would suggest handling stripper hating pole dancers in a studio. I have been asked to leave for using my heels. I’ve been asked not to do floor work because this is an *athletic* studio and *we don’t do that here*, and even side glares from other girls in the stripper accepting studio drive me wild. I’ve ignored it, and I’ve tried defending my job that has given me freedom and fun, but I still feel down about it. Any tips?

I’m really sorry you are experiencing this situation. Finding a pole studio that matches your personal values and ethos is an amazing part of anyone’s pole journey, but, if like yourself, you are struggling to do this, it can feel isolating and frustrating.

If you do have one studio that accepts strippers I would say stick to that one, because the other one just sounds toxic af. As for the girls giving you side glares, just keep doing what you are doing and ignoring their irrelevant asses. Having a robust sense of self-esteem and comfort in your own decisions really helps here, so ask yourself why you care if they give you side glances. Ask – why do these side glances drive me so wild? You can’t control what other people think of you, but you can control how you respond to it.

If you stand your ground and stick to being exactly who you are, they will have to either lump it or lose it, and get the fuck over it. I tend to find if you are stubborn enough eventually people come round to it, and if they don’t, then they aren’t worth having in your life. I’m sure you will find people at the pro-stripper studio who match your vibe and get along with you, and when you have friends like that, the haters can just fade into the background.

In terms of defending yourself… Personally, when you start to defend yourself it can sound as though you feel there is something you have to defend. As though you acknowledge there is something wrong and that you have to make excuses. For those set in their ways, you acting preemptively defensive just feeds into their personal narrative about you doing something wrong. So, I would personally just ignore any of that and act as though it is beneath me to defend anything, because everything I do is completely fine and they can eat it! 😂😂😂 You don’t have to defend yourself, because there is nothing to defend, you aren’t doing anything wrong by being there and wearing your heels. They just need to suck it up.

If it continues, talk to the owner of the studio privately. If it is a pro-stripper studio it wouldn’t be too much of an ask for them to remind their students that everyone is welcome, and anyone deemed to be creating an unwelcoming environment will be dealt with as they see fit.

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